Hi guys!
It's been almost a month, I know. I've not been feeling that great, have lacked motivation, and been busy with some medical stuff. I'll explain that along with my chosen topic for this blog entry. I was looking at some quotes a few minutes ago, and one in particular caught my attention and sparked me to write this. Winston Churchill said: "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference". I've found that that is so true in my life! The attitude I have really does determine how things affect me and how I react to them. I'm a generally positive person, but this is not to say that I never have a difficult time with things that are happening or expressing my feelings, because I do.
About six or seven weeks back, I fractured my tibia, so I have been laid up with that and have also gotten a pressure sore on my heel now, so I'm going to a wound doctor quite frequently to help that heal. Also, I've had a respiratory thing that's kept me under the weather, but it appears that is pretty much gone now. So, while the fracture and sore are healing, I have withdrawn from school but am optimistic that I will be back for the September term. This current situation does get a bit overwhelming and a bit depressing at times, and this little fact leads me into how attitude makes a difference in my experience. When I think about my situation, whatever it may be at the time, how I think of it does tend to make things seem worse or a little better. I have yet to think, "man, I wish this would all just go away" and *poof* all better, but thinking does impact my perception of things. I'm sure for some of you it may be the same.
I had a dear friend, Frankie, who also had Spina Bifida that I would talk to a lot about different things. We would encourage each other, be each others sounding board, make each other laugh, and share our mutual love for The Lord. I talk about him in past tense because he went home to God in February 2009. I remember a conversation we had late one night in 2006. He lived in Missouri, we never met face-to-face, so we would talk all the time through instant messaging and on the telephone. At the time of this conversation I was going through what seemed to be never ending medical problems (as was he) and was in and out of the hospital a lot with kidney stones, pressure sores, and I even had a urostomy, and just about a year later, a colostomy. Well, one day we were talking and he asked me how is it possible that I am still so strong with all that was going on and how could I keep such a positive attitude about things? I simply told him that I wasn't strong, but with God's help, I could be strong and my faith in him gave me the strength to keep plugging along with the knowledge that, no matter how lonely I felt, I was not alone. So there you have it. That is my secret to having a positive attitude about my life: I have The Lord to help me every step of the way.
However, keeping myself happy and positive, instead of dwelling on negatives of my situation (whatever it may be at the time) has taken active work on my part too. Of course, knowing I have that relationship with God goes a long way in helping me cope, I can go to him with all my troubles and know that he understands, I do have to do things so as not to let my mind dwell into dark territory. I focus on things that make me happy and keep me occupied. For one, I'm in college. I got to Kaplan University. While Kaplan is an actual on site university in Davenport, Iowa; I attend it online. With my disability, it can be rather difficult to get out and attend onsite classes as necessary, though I did do that for a little while at the Center for Biblical Studies and I really enjoyed it. CBS worked with me so very much to help me further my education, despite the challenges that I faced. As a matter-of-fact, it was through my education there that I decided what direction I wanted to take my education (and ultimate career) when I entered Kaplan. Since I'm waiting until the September term to return to classes when my medical situation stabilizes a bit, I am doing other things to keep my spirits up.
I pray and meditate a lot. I like to crochet, and write. I also like to do other various things with Photoshop. My user pic on here is one of those things. My cat makes me happy. She's a little black cat named Sunshine. She's very loving and playful, but also skittish and at times is scared of her own shadow. And my family and friends make me happy too. My mom was just here a couple minutes ago, and seeing her is always great, but today is her birthday so it was especially nice to see her and give her a birthday hug. Listening to music makes me happy too. I listen to a lot of different genres and artists. Some of my favorites are: Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Katy Perry, Lit, and Seether. Another thing that makes me happy is penguins. That's where my user name comes from. They just look happy, and that never fails to make me smile. Yes, one of my favorite movies is 'Happy Feet'.
Alright, I better get going. It's time for a late night snack! lol Take care of yourselves and I will talk to y'all again soon!
xoxoxo
Erin
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